People get drunk
They hook up with the wrong person
And pretend to be okay
People act tough
And get mad
People will do anything to distract their heart.
They will do anything to distract it from missing someone.
I’m tired… I’m so tired. I thought I just needed a night’s sleep, but it’s more than that.
I laughed because it hurt too much to cry.
I always had you to think about whenever I felt like writing about something beautiful.
I don’t know why it feels so wrong to have finally outgrown that habit.
And now I couldn’t write without wanting to sound so bitter or nostalgic, or both. I’ve been praying hard about this feeling, about getting over the sleepless nights thinking about our what-if’s, about having the courage to finally let our plans go and see how far we’ll wander as we grow apart.
I don’t know if this is the answer to my prayer or just the comforting feeling of making it without you. Or both.